top of page
Search
Writer's pictureMiriam Wood

My Limericks

Updated: Apr 20, 2022


This is a list of the five poems I have made for the Forest Poetry contest. Over the years, my poems have gotten more ambitious. Pet Peeves has five parts and Balding Eagle uses particularly difficult to rhyme words. I couldn't have made these without the creative help of my mother and online thesauruses.


 

(2017)


Acorny Poem


There once was a squirrel named Einstein

On acorns all day he would dine

He just couldn’t resist

So his wife did insist

That he make his home up in a pine


 

(2018)


Work Was Slow


There once was a slow snail named Bruce

Who was late for his job selling juice

Bruce tried to explain

That his ride was to blame

But boss didn’t believe his excuse


So he started working part time

Scrubbing the floors of their grime

While cleaning the ground

He went round and round

Mopping his trail of slime


Because he likes cookies and cake

He got a job where he could bake

He fell in the dough

And became escargot

And his friends were all late to his wake


 

(2019)


Animals With Medical Problems


There once was a duck named Rasputin

Who had a bad problem with tootin’

The bread that was tossed

It came with a cost

He was severely allergic to gluten


His friend was a rabbit named Scamp

Who once was a cross country champ

Though he once was athletic

He's now diabetic

Every time that he ran he would cramp


Their boss was a frog named Moses

Who was cursed with a grim prognosis

His employees would choke

Every time that he croaked

For his meetings came with halitosis


 

(2020)


Pet Peeves


There once was a gopher named Lloyd

Who was prone to getting annoyed

The chewing of nails

And the grooming of scales

Made him hope for a second asteroid


His wife was a 'dillo named Jen

And she wouldn't get out of her den

All day she would sleep

And though it would beep

She'd snooze her alarm once again


He was vexed as he suffered through traffic

Delayed by a daft demographic

The sloths didn't care

For the others' despair

Lloyd's response was admittedly graphic


He worked with Bob, the cicada

Whose job was inputting data

The clicking and clacking

Made Lloyd dream of whacking

His friend just like periplaneta


He hoped to experience healing

And breakthrough emotional ceilings

His therapist tried

But gophers have pride

So he couldn't help burying his feelings


 

(2021)


Balding Eagle


There once was an eagle named Knox

Who was blessed with luxurious locks

Oblivious was he

Of his bald destiny

Which would strike like a large bag of rocks


One day he was soaring with Chief

Whose divulgence caused great disbelief

When the slip of the beak

Leaked a future that’s bleak

Knox went through the five stages of grief


As he faced his inevitable balding

Knox questioned his father named Roaldwing

The answer of his

Was, “it is what it is”

This did not make his fate less appalling


As he roamed around feeling defective

He saw a vulture and gained some perspective

It could have been worse

With the carrion’s curse

(Of his hygiene he was highly protective)


 

(2022)


A Songbird's Lament


There once was a songbird named Joyce

Who was cursed with a horrible voice

What came from her beak

Was an unpleasant squeak

Her silence made others rejoice


She hoped lessons would end all the jeers

And cicadas had vocal careers

Her dreams were soon quelled

Because class would be held

Only once every seventeen years


The whales could make her less strange

So a meeting she tried to arrange

But she sang much too high

And stayed in up the sky

She was doubly out of their range


She had failed to find an instructor

So she settled for choir conductor

This launched a diatribe

Which was hushed by her bribe

And the choir was convinced to induct her

25 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All

1 Comment


danawahlbeck
danawahlbeck
Feb 24, 2021

Such good stuff! My favorite line below (poor thing!):


While cleaning the ground

He went round and round

Mopping his trail of slime

Like
Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page